Saiyan Meets Shinobi!
by 0 Jordinio 0
Summary: Vegeta Came. Vegeta Saw. Vegeta got Conquered by Shizune.
1. Chapter 1

Stepping out of his space pod after crash landing, Vegeta almost casually levitated out of the crater his pod caused idly noticing Nappa doing the same.

Vegeta sneered in disgust as he caught sight of a gathering crowd below him investigating his ship and pointing up at him in wonder.

"Trash." He scoffed. Holding up one hand, he began to gather a glowing deep purple orb of _ki_ in preparation for exterminating the lot of them. This was the last assignment in he and Nappa's list from Frieza before they could move on to Earth and search for the Dragonballs without the disgusting lizard breathing down his neck too quickly before he attained immortality.

He didn't seem to notice the so called trash surrounding him from building tops clocked entirely and faces hidden behind masks.

" _Dokugiri!_ " A feminine voice shouted from below him.

"Doku-what?" Vegeta repeated to himself in confusion, just in time to look down and catch the sight of a woman with short black hair dressed in some form of kimono with a pig of all things by her side.

That was his last action before he was completely engulfed in a thick purple cloud of smoke. He breathed it in almost on instinct and felt his body freeze mid air before he collapsed entirely, his body going numb and mind going black before he could even fully process the shock of what was happening.

Nappa was too busy sniggering like the demented ape he was to realize the purple cloud was fatal and so followed suit of his midget master mere seconds later.

For all the partly amount of power he'd amassed, Vegeta still had no defence against the subtle arts. His arrogance as always was his undoing.

Within the minute, both passed away and were quickly sent to hell. And so ended Prince Vegeta of the Saiyans. Owned like the bitch he was.

* * *

Far and away, across the universe a stout man of entirely black skin quirked a smirk through entirely ruby red lips. "It seems the legacy of my mother once again claimed the lives of a few other wordly maggots." He erupted into full bellied laughter that was heard throughout the cosmos and gave even the sleeping god of destruction Beerus nightmares.

For he was Popo Ōtsutsuki , twin brother of Black Zetsu and son of Kaguya.

* * *

 **Dokugiri - Poison Mist**

 **The Dbz characters really aren't as godly as many like to think.**


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto once again had to marvel at power his new form exhibited.

His hair, a molten gold color spiked backwards and reached all the way to below his kneecaps. His once cerulean blue eyes just as gold as his hair with a cross shape pupil in each eye.

He clenched his fist once and smirked.

The universe shook from the sheer power in that one squeeze.

Naruto glared downwards at cat thing that lay groaning beneath him, giving its comatose body a kick for good measure. Fucking chairs shouldn't be moving around and shit.

...Anyway. He just couldn't get over how amazingly powerful he was in this form and he had that chump Vegeta that Shizune killed 4 years ago to thank for it.

Konoha had found, through liberal use of the Yamanaka expertise fragmented memories of the one known as Vegeta from his cooling corpse. Everything from Frieza, to the planet trade orginasation to even the shitty runt of a cat he was sitting on at this very moment.

And most importantly, they found out about the Saiyans.

They were a marvel. The ability to grow stronger from injuries and the ability to adapt and develop reisistances to any form of attack they had been exposed to be it poison in the lungs or knives to the eyes.

An experiment had been ran in an effort to graft Saiyan dna into willing subjects in the hopes of making a pseudo saiyan clan in Konoha. None had survived the operation.

That is, until him. Naruto had at Tsunade's request had the operation performed on him. And due to a combination of luck, his Uzumaki clan body and Kurama giving him healing powers akin to regeneration Naruto had been the first and only to this day Shinobi/Saiyan hybrid in the history of the planet Elementia.

Ki, as they had learned was the power Vegeta used and it was one half of the energy that made up chakra. So in essence, it was a watered down version of chakra. They hadn't learn that much, but they did find out exlusively how to fly.

Hell, Naruto himself had gained access to notes on the memories of techniques Vegeta liked to imploy and even a few he'd been in the process of creating. Naruto's favorite was definitely the Final Flash, it was a badass orange color.

Anyway, Naruto had upon waking up from the operation achieved Vegeta's life long goal of becoming Super Saiyan without trouble. That bitch ass bone guy got in the way of his ripping Sasuke a knew one and in his rage and drawing on Kurama's power his Super Saiyan one form had been unlocked.

Golden eyes raked over his own form, idly glancing over the black orbs hanging in the air behind his back. Here he was, 4 years and a war later and he'd combined the power of Super Saiyan 3 and his Six Paths Sage Mode.

Then some weirdo calling himelf the Gold of Destruction had turned up. A talking fucking cat of all things and spouted some shit about Elementia getting too big for its britches.

Naruto of course took offense to that. He'd had enough crap about gods with Kaguya.

The fight had been pretty good, but in the end Beebus or whatever the stupid cat called himself fell to his unstoppable power. With his Six path sage mode, he was already using a godly form of power add in his super saiyan 3 form that multiplied that base power by around 300 give or take and even gods were but bitches to him these days.

Naruto smirked, "I suppose I fulfilled your dreams for your 'father'." Father was what he had taken to calling Vegeta since technically, Vegeta now made up enough of his dna to be considered family. His dad was Minato Namikaze, the one he loved but he did thank his father – the more formal and distant name - Vegeta for being a complete moron and being taken off guard by Shizune of all people.

"I the new prince of all Saiyans am the strongest being in the universe!"

With that bellow, Naruto erupted into great peels of victorious laughter. The laughter cut off though as Beebus the god of destruction or whatever wheezed in pain beneath his godly super saiyan butt cheeks.

Naruto growled, then he farted and blew Beebus straight through the planet and killing him. "Bitch." He snorted.

Thus ended the life and chronicles of Lord Beerus the God of Destruction.

Naruto himself never even bothered to learn the name of his dead opponent. He was too busy travelling off into space for adventure and space booty after ushering in a new age of peace for his world.

As for Sasuke and Goku? Well...That's a story for another time.

 **Tune in next time for the next exciting episode of Vegeta The Chump Z!**

* * *

 **Okay guys. Let me tell you this one thing, this is pure crack. None of it should be taken seriously at all. I just done this for the hell of it because it struck my fancy. I thought the Popo thing in the first chapter would have clued you guys in.**

 **A bit too much salt I guess.**

 **Naruto until the very end was a mid-level manga on the combat scale, bordering on the lower spectrum of high when the fourth war came around. No way in hell would they beat Dbz characters in a fair fight. Not to say a Naruto character couldn't beat them because there is many abilities they have no defense against. But one on one in a fair fight? No chance.**

 **Now, Naruto at the end of the manga and the likes of Kaguya and Juubi Jinchuuriki Madara that is another story entirely. In my opinion, Kishimoto just wanted to have a pissing contest as one last hoorah. Because let's face it, they're as hax as a character can get these days. I honestly couldn't tell you who would win in a fight between Naruto and Goku and I don't really care. These stat sheet things those morons Fairy Tail Dragon Slayer and Wizard are spouting like it's the gospel just ruins stories for others when you get even a little bit invested in them.**

 **Especially Wizard, he's a fucking moron. Trying to act like a gangster in author's notes. He's like a sad little boy crying for attention. Fairy Tail Dragon Slayer is the lesser evil to me, he's just a guy who can't take criticism and has to force any facts he can think of down your throat in a some twisted form of bragging that he's right and everyone else is wrong.**

 **Anyway, I will probably take this parody down at some point..**

 **I will tell you this though. I am in the process of building plot and history for a proper Naruto/Dbz story. I spent £45 on Xenoverse and Dlc to help me brainstorm for this story and everything. So keep an eye out for it if you're interested. It's a serious story attempt at melding the universes and the taking of a few liberties.**

 **Later guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

He was the legend. A god of gods.

There were many reasons for man and beast alike to ascend to all new realms of power. War, Greed, Sex….Love. Each had led to conflict, despair and much more.

But he had a much more noble cause.

Golden hair, almost as long as his mothers and arranged in a series of jagged spikes reached down past his knees. Golden electricity crackled around his form and his golden eyes shone with unstoppable might.

A grin of pride tugged at his lips, uncaring of the human-esque lizard alien whimpering beneath the foot he pinned it to the ground with, its golden carapace completely and thoroughly destroyed leaving nothing but scraps of golden armour and disgustingly dry purple skin.

Naruto looked down at his new subjects, his godly golden visage broadcast throughout the entire universe to all planets under the control of the Planet Trade Organization. He rose a hand, and suddenly a new existence formed. No tricks. No summoning, but just a shimmer as with his god like powers he re-wrote reality itself.

And now, atop his palm sat a large, steaming bowl of Ichiraku Ramen. "I done it all for the ramen baby!" He declared loudly, his voice loud and passionate.

….That was the very moment ramen became declared as the food of the golden god throughout the universe. The religion of Naruto began not long after, sects all over the universe praying to bowls of ramen for the golden gods favor.

* * *

When the broadcast finished, Naruto finally looked down at the lizard man under his foot who was now struggling with all its might and snarling in a demented rage as it tried to move Naruto's foot, to no avail.

"You damn peasant!" The lizard snarled at him, "I am Lord Frieza! Master of the galaxy! I will not be demeaned by a lowly monkey like yo-!" Frieza was cut of by Naruto pressing down slightly and Frieza screaming in absolute agony as a weight reminiscent of an entire planet pushed down on him just from that simple gesture.

Naruto grinned down at the gasping lizard, "You know, it's been a while since I ate lizard." He commented with a fang grin.

Frieza gasping through the pain, was just able look up in undisguised horror at the comment. But could do nothing else before he felt a massive force drive into his stomach and blacked out.

He would only awake once more in his entire life, and live through the terror of being boiled alive in a pot of boiling water that reached heights hotter than any sun. Frieza would live in terror, agony and utter loathing due to his recent trip to Namek where he acquired his golden form and became immortal

Then he'd get eaten by the hungry golden blond on a broadcast video throughout the entire universe, living throughout the entire process until the blondes godlike digestive system overpowered his immortality

And so ended the reign of Lord Frieza, not with a bang, not even with a whimper. But with a fork right through him and dipped in some ketchup.

* * *

 **Well, that was fun. No idea where this idea came from, but it was amusing to write at least. The ramen idea came to me though when I was reading Angel In The Machine.**

 **Anyway, I'd been hoping to some updates going this weekend but I'm not making much progress. I let my mother borrow my laptop, so a lot of my projects are out of reach at the moment. To be honest, work has been taking up so much time that I can only really write what comes to mind at any given time, whether they be for new stories or stories in progress.**

 **It's a lackluster regiment, but it's the only thing I can do for now because of how little time I have because of work. It's not an excuse good enough to apologize for the sporadic updates, but it's all I can give. I can't post any of my pokemon chapters now because they're all on my laptop...Hell, every story I have uploaded has content being worked on with my laptop so I can#'t even touch them till I get my laptop back.**

 **Anyway, I can't believe the rage some people are having at a crack story. I even have a few weirdo's calling those morons FTDS and Wizard amazing and shit to me through pm's and ranting at me I shouldn't insult such great writers. I had to laugh at it to be honest. FTDS is a terrible writer. He started out okay, and had a lot of potential but he's degenerated to the point where his stories are dragged down by every other sentence having some kind of fact trying to be shoved down our throats and lashes out at anyone who tries to give him advice. Wizard is even worse, he doesn't even write stories, just calls everyone who disagrees with him Narutards and bashes on the Naruto series as a whole all the while trying to play it as though he's some kind of gangster.**

 **Hell, there was even this one guy who said he agreed with me, that it all comes down to the opinion in the end and then went and said that Dbz are obviously stronger though and Raditz could solo the entire Naruto-verse and I should just believe him because obviously he was right and I was wrong. Jeez, the retarded kids on this site are so stupid it's funny.**

 **Either way, it's fine with me. All the salt being thrown about is keeping me stocked up and making my Fish n' Chips all the tastier.**


End file.
